Calvin Berman contemplates nothing, kind of, after seeing "Due Date"

Warner Bros. released "Due Date" this weekend to a respectable $32.7 million box office performance, according to Deadline. The Los Angeles Times leads me to believe that "The Hangover" director Todd Phillips reunited with "The Hangover" star Zach Galifianakis for the movie, while Robert Downey Jr. third-wheeled his way into it.

This movie is unlike any of the ones that I have examined on this thread; my mind was blank when I walked out of the theater. "Due Date" was not smart enough to include anything worth analyzing, yet not stupid enough to make me want to analyze its stupidity, like "Jackass 3D."

The premise of the movie was that Downey's haughty character is thwarted in his attempts to get home to his pregnant wife (who is due in a few days) by a stranger: Galifianakis' cluelessly idiotic character. Somehow, the two end up driving to Los Angeles from Atlanta so that the husband can witness the birth of his baby. I know, I know; what a bunch of baloney.

Even if you overlook the serious lack in realistic plot and cinematic direction, you can't get past the fact that Galifianakis plays almost the same character that he had portrayed in "The Hangover." He is the token moron that other characters find themselves forced to go on a road trip with. That is, until his odd behavior becomes endearing at the film's focal point.

Have you ever heard of the saying: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it?" Well, it applies in this case.

Galifianakis' performance was outstanding in "The Hangover," which had me laughing from beginning to end. Because the character was pretty much cloned for "Due Date," Galifianakis' character's ridiculously stupid antics still had me laughing.

(Screenshot of the "Due Date" trailer, taken from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGpJUh9j-jU)

My friends complained that the movie had not lived up to their expectations. "'The Hangover' was way better," they said. I argued that you can't go into any movie looking to compare it to the genius of "The Hangover," the highest-grossing R-rated comedy of all time, according to Variety.

That's like saying that Kobe Bryant's 30-point game on Jan. 27, 2006, was a failure because he had scored 81 points the prior game. Most NBA players only dream of scoring 30 points in a game.

"Due Date" made me laugh a bunch of times. Based on my experience, I feel it was better than most other comedies I've seen, bottom line. What's wrong with that? Why can't I just accept laughter when it comes to me?

Is it just me, or are we all this way?

If you think you've got an answer, I'd love to read it below!

Calvin Berman reexamines his life after "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell"

(Source: http://www.tuckermax.com/movie/)

Tucker Max's "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" novel made the New York Times Bestseller list in 2006, 2007 and 2008. I remember reading the book in high school and laughing out loud at Max's fearless, arrogant yet self-aware humor.

Naturally, a film adaptation of the novel ensued in 2009, but with much less success. According to Box Office Mojo, the film grossed about $1.4 million throughout its one-and-a-half month stay in U.S. theaters. To put this in perspective, "The Hangover" grossed over $277 million domestically during its six month reign at the box office.

With adjectives like "horrible," "painful" and "wasted potential" used to describe the adaptation by IMDB users, it's obvious why it performed so poorly in theaters. However, my roommate and I thought the movie was pretty entertaining. This should not set off red flag indicators about my character; don't judge me, jerks.

To my defense, I thought that some scenes were overly offensive (whether they were racist or sexist) in hopes of utilizing shock humor. On the other hand, my roommate laughed for a few of these scenes. You jerks can judge him.

For pious old me, could the reason I didn't find these scenes funny be that I have matured since reading the book? Or, did they seem more offensive because I was watching them take place as opposed to reading about them?

Furthermore, when my roommate's girlfriend walked in, she told us that she and a friend had watched the movie and thought that it was one of the worst movies that they'd ever seen. After she judged our character for laughing, she walked out, leaving me to wonder if Tucker Max's humor is gender-specific.

What I am most intrigued by, and scared of, is that I saw a lot of myself in Tucker Max. No, I am not a misogynist, nor am I a racist. Shallow belief systems have always disgusted me.

In the film, Max's selfish inclination to live life by the seat of his pants leads him to create disasters out of simple situations, but then somehow find a way to make things right. His ability to make things right after he messes them up is what perpetuates Max's selfishness.

In the movie, Max convinces his best friend to lie to his future wife and hold his bachelor party at a far-off strip club, which he raves about. It turns out that Max had not only lied about previously visiting that club, but also had ditched his belligerent best friend, who ended up with two black eyes and one night in jail, in favor of a stripper. Once the wife-to-be found out, the wedding was put in jeopardy.

After being uninvited to the wedding, Max crashed it anyway and gave a speech, somehow winning back his friend.

Last month, while I was on my fraternity's bus to Dallas for the Red River Rivalry, I realized that I had left my ticket to the game in my apartment. Luckily (or so I thought), the bus was just outside my building. I ran up to the bus driver and pleaded that he let me get off the bus and run to my room to grab my ticket, which he did. Somewhere in my subconscious, I'm sure I knew that if I somehow missed the bus, I would still find a way to Dallas.

To make a long story short, my date had to ride the 5 hour trip without me. I ended up being lucky enough to be allowed to catch a ride in a rival fraternity's bus (which is unheard of). When my fraternity arrived in Dallas, my roommate, his girlfriend and my date could not check into the hotel because it was under my name. I had officially messed up the weekend before it even started.

By the time I reached Dallas, I had the wherewithal to get flowers for my date and my roommate's girlfriend. The flowers, coupled with a sincere apology, seemed to fix most of our problems, which enabled me find more ways to screw up the weekend.

Both Max and I fail to learn that "winging it" complicates things, despite the obvious correlation. Although I am curious as to why I found this movie so funny, I am sure (or at least hope) that a significant part of this answer lies in my ability to relate to the main character and his blunders.